


Whoops

by Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike



Series: Whoops [1]
Category: Leverage, The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Nile is amazing and I love her but my god do i not know how to write her voice, Not betas we die like men, Write Drunk Edit Sober, its just nice and a little bit silly, look im drunk and i just wrote this okay it just came out, probable abuse of the comma, which is to say i will edit this tomorrow maybe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26058733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike/pseuds/Hal_is_absolutely_not_ladylike
Summary: In which Eliot fucks up and his family meets those he swore to protect to his dying day.
Relationships: Alec Hardison/Parker/Eliot Spencer, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova
Series: Whoops [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1893439
Comments: 7
Kudos: 195





	Whoops

Things had been well awkward was really the only word for it since the last job had gone a little bit further south than any of them had planned for. If Elliot has just gotten there a few seconds sooner he could have disarmed the bomb he knew he could have, or at least he could had time to notice that it was wired around the building and he could have gotten Hardison and Parker out in time and make up a stupid story about getting lucky and pretended to limp around for a few days, sure it would have meant letting Parker feed him disgusting sugary cereal for a few days while he “recuperated” but he could have dealt with it he was 200 years old for Christ sake he could deal with it. But Eliot didn’t get there in time and he didn’t notice in time and the whole building had gone up… and they had all died. And when Hardison and Parker had gasped back to life 45 minutes later they found out why Eliot didn’t do hospitals and why he shrugged off so many blows to the head and why he knew when things were distinctive and things had gotten awkward. 

Don’t get him wrong Eliot was glad when they had gasped back to life, back to him, he was so glad he hadn’t failed in his promise to Nate and Sophie, but now things were different and he didn’t like that. Hardison and Parker swore up and down they weren’t mad at him for keeping it a secret, that they understood why he hadn’t told them… but Eliot could see it in their eyes that the trust they had in him was shaken. It didn’t help that Parker kept trying to test her new immortality by trying to jump off every tall building she could think of without a harness which set of Hardison which meant Eliot had to talk them both down multiple times a day. Eliot just wanted it go back to normal, to wake up warm and happy with them beside him to make breakfast that made Hardison moan like a porn star to watch Parker plan a job and make sure Hardison’s stupid brew pub didn’t get run into the ground by his inane brewing experiments. Eliot wanted his old, simple, happy, life back even if he knew that this one would be better because now he wouldn’t have make the horrible choice between up and leaving before they realized he wasn’t aging or staying and watching them grow old and die. He’d Bookered himself and he had known it but he was happy damn it.

But now the rest of the family was coming to meet them “Eliot’s new ones” as they had apparently taken to calling them and things were only going to get worse before they got better, he just knew it.

Eliot wasn’t sure if he should give Hardison and Parker a primer before they got here, to explain some of the history to them but then the second night Parker had woken up from the dreams and drawn photo realistic portraits of them all, Eliot had forgotten she could do that Joe was going to love it, and Hardison had used them to start his own research. Eliot had also explained what had happened, was still happening (and damn didn’t that hurt to think about, he still got the dreams from time to time but saying it out loud was another thing) to Quynh that had only added to the awkwardness. 

So now Hardison was researching away, accessing databases he should have no access to or even know about and Parker was watching Eliot pace and check his phone. Nicky, god bless Nicky, was sending him updates and according to him they should be arriving soon. Eliot would not have felt prepared if he had a thousand years, he had cooked a big meal of everyone’s favorites (3 separate Baklavas each with distinct recipes and ingredients just for Andy) (he had also bought gummy frogs and the horrid orange soda that Hardison swore was manna from heaven) hoping that food could ease what he was going to be a tense meeting, but everything was done and plated and kept warm so now he paced. 

“Eliot” Parker broke his anxiety spiral pacing.

“What.” He did not have time for this.

“Come ‘ere” She patted the counter next to where she was sitting.

“They’ll be here any minute”

“Come ‘ere” She patted more insistently, Elliot obliged her (who was he kidding her would do anything for her if only she asked).

“You look nice,” She said matter of factly.

“Thank you,” Eliot wasn’t sure where this was going.

“And Hardison looks nice,”

“Yes?”

“And I look nice”

“Yes you do”

“And you still love us?” Oh ho ho and wasn’t that a gut punch, good lord did Parker know how to hit someone where they weren’t looking.

“Yes! Of course! I still love you, till my dying day” Okay maybe Eliot was getting a little more defensive than he needed to be but that one stung damn it. 

“Which will be hundreds if not thousands of years from now…”

“Yes, Parker for as long as I’m living I will be loving you.”

“Then everything will be fine.”

“Parker…”

“Everything Will Be Fine” Eliot could hear the capitalization.

“Parker…” He tried again.

She was stone faced.

“I just want them to like you, its like when Hardison brought us to meet Nanna” He tried

“So I should be Alice” Parker was quick to change her demeanor.

“No, not like Alice” Eliot had forgotten that Parker had been being Alice when she met Nanna, they hadn’t meant for her to be but Hardison had been so nervous which had made Parker nervous and at the time she was more comfortable with new people when she was being Alice that it had made more sense. Parker hunched back down. “You don’t need to be anyone else, this isn’t a job it's just…” Eliot didn’t real have the words for these are the people other than me who will be constants in your life for the rest of forever until we die probably horribly maybe in a few thousand years… yeah that wasn’t it. “They’re kind of my family and I want you to like each other” which was lame but true.

“And they love you?”

“Yeah” Again lame but true.

“Then we will like them”

“You seem pretty sure about that.”

“We love you too, we’ll make it work.” Parker with the one two punch ladies and gentlemen.

When they arrived, things got more stilted. Parker hadn’t said anything to any of them, only stared at Nicky like he was a safe she was trying to crack, Eliot swore she would glance from time to time at Joe and Andy in the same way but it was Nicky she was focused on. Booker had tried to talk to Hardison about computers but had found him self so far out of his league he had given up and they moved on to brewing and now looked like he was living to regret it. Andy looked at both Hardison and Parker suspiciously like she didn’t believe they were real warriors, which make Eliot want to grind his teeth and explain in excruciating detail just how many times these people had saved his life while helping innocent people get justice even if his life didn’t really need saving. Joe, blessed Joe, was chatting at Eliot happy just to have someone vaguely different to talk to… he was also clearly excited to have two new conversation partners for the rest of forever Eliot was not looking forward to him and Hardison talking as he was fairly certain it would never end and at some point he did want to sleep again.

They passed a few hours this way before they sat down to eat and Parker finally spoke.

“You’re the David!”

“What-”

“How did you-”

“I told you that man was a no-good creep!” Joe was the loudest.

“Parker he cant be” Hardison tried.

“I would recognize that tiny naked man anywhere. It’s him.” Parker pointed directly at Nicky.

“The David is 17 feet tall” Andy supplied matter of factly.

“The maquettes are only about 2 feet tall with the plinth. You’re my little naked buddy.” Eliot froze as Parker spoke, he had forgotten until this moment that Joe and Nicky had been in Italy during the Renaissance and had been able to ignore the fact that the statue bared a striking resemblance to his friend, it was just a coincidence all Italian men look vaguely alike he had told himself, it was definitely Nicky. 

“The Maquettes Plural” Joe was angry now.

“Yeah we stole them a few years back, well we stole one Sophie had already stolen the other one, but we got them both after the job was over.” Parker was now more interested in her food, she appreciated Eliot’s cooking when she wasn’t trying to plan a job or worried or stressed and living on sugary cereal.

“So you’ve fallen in with thieves” Andy said disapprovingly just as Joe said

“I told you Nicky! I told you Simoni was a no-good piece of shit who just wanted to get in your pants!” He was near shouting with the joy and anger of someone who had been proven right after a very long argument.

“That was the first time we kissed” Hardison was happy to supply but not helping.

“We are not thieves” Eliot shot back at Andy, “And yes there are at least two small bronze test runs of” Eliot exhaled through his nose now that he had seen it he could never unsee it “Michelangelo’s David statue that is based on Nicky – but they are in a storage locker somewhere at least for the next 30 years so its fine. We help people, outside of the law yes but we help people.”

“We’re thieves Eliot last week we stole $30 million dollars in diamonds from a drug lord and got him to confess to murder and the week before that we stole patents from pharmaceutical company and made the CFO get arrested for fraud” Parker replied unhelpfully.

“So your thieves for a good cause” Andy said speaking over the argument that Joe and Nicky were now having in Arabic and Italian respectively.

“We pick up where the law leaves off, you could say provide Leverage” Hardison said with a shit eating grin.

Andy looked almost impressed. Eliot had never seen her look impressed before, it was new it took a minute to identify the emotion.

“Good.” She took a big swig of her wine.

Eventually, after Joe and Nicky stopped arguing, they had a nice meal they all got to know each other a little bit. Hardison told them they haven’t been as careful as they needed to be historically with the advent of the camera but that he would scrub them from wherever he could find them, he also promised to make them a plethora of new identities which won them all over almost immediately. Eliot had been able to relax a little bit. And when after dinner Parker had conversed at length with Nicky in Italian (Hardison and Eliot had looked at each other in shock for a moment and then both shrugged, the woman was a mystery wrapped in an enigma while also being 20 pounds of crazy in a 10 pound bag and they knew this and loved her so nothing should really be a surprise at this point) and everyone seemed to settle. It was distinctly nice.

It remained that way for many years, once ever year they would all meet up and catch up maybe do a job together but for the most part Leverage 2.0 remained the same and Eliot’s family remained the same, because as separate as they were they were distinctly Eliot’s. And that was fine everything was good. Eliot was happy, even capital H Happy, Parker and Hardison calmed down about the never permanently dying thing after a while and they settled back into their routine of helping people and life was nice… Eliot might have even said better than before (the lack of an end date for all of this was nice).

But of course all things come to an end, and the nice years did. There was a new threat, Andy agreed to do a repeat it turned out to be a set up and then there was a new one, a marine who when Parker drew she looked so young that Eliot was nearly sick. And then as Eliot and Parker and Hardison found out later there was a betrayal and kidnappings and torture and a rescue and an exile and sooner than anyone would want there would be an ending for Andy. Eliot took the last part hard; it was a reminder that his promise would eventually come true… that his dying day would come and that he would have to leave Hardison and Parker some day and the thought made him sick.

When they did meet Nile though she fit instantly, she understood Hardison (most of the time) and she though Parker was hilarious (“like Drill but a person” she kept saying only Hardison laughed at that but it seemed like a good thing so they all smiled at it). Nile made them all a Family properly, and that was all Eliot could have wanted. And when Hardison talked to Copley, who was apparently a mosaicist who had found the hard-copies of the photos Hardison had whipped from the internet (and after Copley had collected him self from the excitement of meeting THE Hardison) the families historical records were fully secured. Then they could have peace, and jobs when they wanted them, and jobs they could do that Andy could survive to grow old. And Andy did grow old. And Bookers exile did not last the years he had been promised. And Quynh returned to them before Andy’s ending. Life was long and good. Eliot was happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you and good night I'm going to finish watching the first David job which I had to half watch to guess how big the fucking statue was and find the fancy work for copy.


End file.
